A Wife Beating Brand

Just a thought…

When I first came to the UK four years ago I didn’t know the Stella brand. I grew up in Spain and lived happy as a clam enjoying my “cañas” of icy cold Mahou, San Miguel or Aguila. I arrived with a willingness to absorb my forefather’s culture of drinking pints of ambient temperature beer whilst posing as a University student (a mission I excelled at I must ad).

Anyway, when I first saw the Stella Artois logo on a tap I was immediately drawn to it: the Frenchy name and elegant design succeeded at reeling me in. I swiftly ordered one and as I held it and sipped it I thought: “that’s a rather all right beer, not the best I’ve had but it does the trick”. That is when my mate saw me and proceeded to fill my ears with this brand’s not-so-glamorous reputation.

A wifebeater is slang for the typical tough-nuts style sleeveless shirt, yet on the wiki definition you will find another meaning: “In the UK and Ireland, the term is occasionally used as slang for the Belgian beer Stella Artois. In British culture, Stella Artois is associated with a drinking culture in which domestic abuse may follow a bout of drinking Stella Artois at the local pub.”

I’m not sure how Stella’s ‘wife beater’ association began. On the Stella wiki it speculates that the association comes from Marlon Brando’s legendary cry, “Stellaaa!”, in A Streetcar Named Desire, a film infamous for its portrayal of domestic violence. Whatever, the fact is this beer is synonymous to wife beating! Jesus!

Wouldn’t you think this kind of widespread reputation would sink the brand? Think again.

Stella Artois is the best selling premium lager in the UK beer market.

Don’t get me wrong; I hold nothing against the beer, poor Stella. I am aware, as is everyone else, that there is no secret ingredient in it that will induce a fit of misogynistic rage or that by drinking it I will be immediately tagged as scum. I mean brands can carry undesirable social associations, I just think this one is pretty hardcore. I guess even more hardcore is the fact that it survives this; wife beating has just become a tongue in cheek kind of notion.

I quite like Stella’s ads, they are quirky and characteristic. They have gone from the 1970s slogan "Stella's for the Fellas" to a the current Frenchy (though it’s Belgian?) European sophistique vibe. Some of it is actually rather highbrow, what with “Reassuringly Elephant”, the surrealist version of “Reassuringly Expensive”. It ties in strategically, seeing as a lot of work has gone into tying Stella to excellence in cinema. All the ads make cunning references to famous old films. It’s worked well, high five to the planners, but it hasn’t made everybody forget the wife beatings. I will come back to this is a second.

I just want a quick look at the above mentioned strap line. Now, this is in line with the up-market sophisticated image of the recent campaigns. It makes sense, the thing is, is it really expensive? It sure as hell doesn’t seem like it to me (I don’t have the facts and figures to parade but I have done my homework). Does this not mean that this is just a disingenuous lie? Is saying that a beer is expensive when it’s pretty mid-range not promoting a fake feeling of quality? Oh wait, maybe it's just hilariously sarcastic. It didn’t strike me this way at first, I thought it rather charming, but on closer inspection and after reading the article that follows it did hit me.

So, I was reading thelondonpaper on the tube and I came across this article. It talks of the unprovoked attack on a teenage girl by a bunch of thugs, the attacker himself was “clutching a Stella Artois beer”, he is even pictured with it. A real piece of PR.

It made me think two things, apart from the general disgust this type of person provokes in me.

1) Would the writer of this article have bothered mentioning the brand if it was let’s say, a Fosters, and not the stigmatised Stella?

2) And, if it is absolutely clear that the Stella brand and wife beatings are inextricably associated in pop culture, despite the polished Frenchy-filmy stuff, shouldn’t the brand communications take a stand on this?

Now, for a moment think about this. Imagine, bizarrely that Stella resolved that enough was enough and decided to tackle not only its reputation (making it European and pseudo-expensive hasn’t done it) but to tackle the subject head on. Sure, Stella doesn’t make men hit women, it is beer like many others, and it also doesn’t want to lose the actual wife beating ‘market niche’ (cringe). Fair enough. But what if it took a stand against this kind of behavior by setting its advertising agency’s powerful creative communications engine on this socially responsible quest? What if it overcame the obstacles and dangers this challenge would pose for the brand and succeeded at promoting responsible and, blimey, civilized behavior in all, or most, of it’s drinkers?

Wouldn’t that be exciting?

And also, wouldn’t it be a brave, brilliant and rewarding challenge to take on as a planner?

Just a thought…

Phaedrucide and Planning: The Link

picture by victor_nuno.

I have gone to great lengths to define what Phaedrucide means to me, a process which has been more to my benefit than to anybody else’s. Whoever braves the long winded definition will understand that I was hardly trying to make my point succinctly. By writing down my big nebulous idea I have come to understand it in new ways and it has sharpened my mental construct like a tool that I plan on employing all the time, putting phaedrucide to practice.

What’s this about planning you ask? As you know, I am an Adman in potential (yes, still working on removing the “in potential” from the title). I will spare you the details of my quest to join this monstrous profession, it’s bloody hard for those who want it and easy for those who fall into it accidentally. Just to give closure to the previous posts with examples of my graduate recruitment application, my greatest success was to make it to the final round of interviews at what is without doubt one of the best agencies in London. As you can tell I didn’t get the job, but hey, everything happens for a reason. More importantly, it was an amazing experience to learn from.

Anyway, during my quest, involving placements, readings, research, interviews, cosmic signs, nuggets of advice and stratospheric conversations on all things Adland , everything pointed me to my true calling: Account Planning (Strategic Planning).

The way I see it, planning is the intelligent backbone of advertising and media communications at large. It is the keystone between creativity and effectiveness. The role of the planner will vary between agency cultures but in essence the planner is responsible for truly understanding markets, trends and behaviours and responding with a brand communication that will suit these or if need be, change them. Planners are a fascinating breed, they are interested and interesting and I guess all aspire to live up to the description of a creative generalist. I could go on and on describing the role but that is hardly my point. That has been done. In fact since the advent of the plannersphere there are more and more planners (from juniors to gurus) sharing their secrets and opinions on anything and everything that is relevant, which in planning seems to be everything and anything. So any textbook theory has been documented and as the industry evolves the accompanying theory continues to be documented only now it happens in real time and through an incredible network of planning minds, all of these devoted to the cause of expressing their opinions on, well, everything and anything. Lots to learn, lots to read.

The plannersphere is about more than documentation however. It is a community with all the marvellous things that entails. Nuff said.

I want to join the conversation but I want to contribute to this community, not just add to it.

So here goes, I will continue pursuing and sharing my personal creative endeavours and will also throw in quick interesting nibbles to take the edge off the Phaedrucide intensity. On the planning front I will express my views and opinions on, crickey yet again, everything and anything. My vow however is to do so through the eyes of my Phaedrus, keeping Phaedrucide blazoned atop this page and atop my perspective. Russell Davies the Great says is straight, there are a million different ways to do good planning, This is mine.

I have also had a great idea, which I will expand at a later date, of using Phaerucide as a concept brand to plan around and think hard about. This could be an interesting ongoing project…

Anyway, just want to rephrase a sentence I made earlier in this post, with the accompanying attitude and gumption that I am throwing at it: I am a Planner in potential working to remove the ‘in potential’ from the title.

I have a meeting on Tuesday with what is possibly the best agency in London… the future’s bright.

Phaedrucide: A Definition

So, what does Phaedrucide mean? I have been using this word, the namesake of this blog (and a series of other creative projects), for a while now without explaining it in full. I have given my explanation to those who have asked me in person whereby I have been able to do so live and uncut, with the aid of wild Mediterranean gesticulation and intense facial expressions, but it’s time to let the cat out of the bag in the written word.

The etymology of this word comes from the name Phaedrus and the suffix “-cide” (cidium, caedere- to cut, kill) following from the Latin example; Homicidium (Homicide). The name Phaedrus indirectly refers to a character found in various Ancient Greek scriptures, mainly used by Plato in a series of dialogues with Socrates. However this it is only through the description of Phaedrus in Zen in the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance by Robert M Pirsig that the name gains its meaning.

Without going into excessive detail, I do have to express that I view Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance as one of the most seminal and ground breaking philosophical writings of the century. Philosophy seems to be tied to antiquity, and perhaps it will only be in a reasonable future that his work will be popularly acknowledged. This isn’t to say that his work has gone unnoticed, millions of copies sold in 23 languages is quite compelling. Perhaps I am referring to the influence his work could still, and by all means should, have on popular culture. In all fairness, his description of the Metaphysics of Quality which he expanded on in his next book, Lila, has been included on philosophy courses at Universities around the world, and Anthony McWatt (a lecturer in philosophy at Liverpool University) actually has a PhD in his work.

The beauty of his work is it explores philosophy and values from a different angle, looking at the old and the new, the scientific and the mystical, the Eastern and the Western and proposes new perspectives. These can be, and are, understood on many levels by the reader, making his writings, in my humble opinion, a must read for all. Discussion on the philosophical underpinnings of his work are readily available on internet communities dedicated to this study, but I want to talk about Phaedrus.

In the book, the character of Phaedrus resides within the mind of the narrator. He represents another self within himself, a dual personality, one that drove him to insanity. This insanity was brought on, as it transcends in the journey (travelled in the book, experienced by the narrator and by the reader as well), by Phaedrus’s insatiable thirst for knowledge and ever intensifying challenge to his ‘reality’. I don’t intend to go into the intricacies of his rebuttal of Western philosophy, only to say that Phaedrus pushed the limits of his mind so far, and in so many ways, that his world imploded on him.

The presence of Phaedrus was initially manifested in the narrator’s recount of his university studies in biochemistry. Here he found, and was profoundly bothered by the notion that there was always “more than one workable hypothesis to explain a given phenomenon, and the number of such hypothesis seemed almost unlimited.” Let’s say that Phaedrus first manifested himself as an uncomfortable intellectual itching that eventually led the narrator to be institutionalised, even receiving sordid treatments such as electro shock therapy, until he was deemed recovered.

One of the shocking realisations that any reader of this book will encounter is the suspicious similarity between the plot and between Pirsig’s life. The extent to which it seems autobiographical is quite mystifying, a fact I guess I am making now to highlight the fact that the concept I am finally going to explain is truly a homage to this truly remarkable author.

It was in fact in crossing the threshold from insanity back into supposed sanity that the two characters were truly divided. The narrator spoke of his former self from a distance, this former self brought terrible memories of his tortured intellect, of the pain it caused him and his loved ones, of the helplessness of spiralling the drain of mental health. Phaedrus was a past different person to him and he was a threat, but Phaedrus was coming back.

The way Phaedrus is perceived by the reader is clearly tainted by the voice of the narrator who hopes to avoid Phaedrus’s return, to be able to live in his reformed reality and exist in harmony with his environment. That seems fair enough, having returned from the depths of despair which he had reached due to Phaedrus’s quixotic philosophical quest it is clear he wouldn’t want to go down that road again. The interpretation of Phaedrus’s character does however remain open to the reader’s subjectivity. The character is extreme; he is brilliant but he is mad, he is ferociously inquisitive yet inexorably self-consuming. Was Phaedrus good or bad?

Funnily enough, this kind of moral dichotomy is one that Pirsig rejects all together. Nevertheless, Pirsig did make a point to clarify this question in later publications, which for some (myself included) was understood form the start; Phaedrus was indeed the good guy.

Before I go off on my imminent rant, I just want to clarify that I am in no way claiming to be an authority on Pirsighian philosophy or making a statement about Phaedrus’s role in the book. I aim just to explain what Phaedrus has come to mean to me.

Phaedrus was indeed extreme: in his way of questioning what most regarded as irrefutable facts, in his manner of finding layers and layers of understanding invisible for common minds and in his ability to perceive the tremendous connectivity of systems in the world around him. Through out the book we discover more and more about his past, about his downfall and of the threat of his return. He understood that wherever he looked there was more to be seen, and that behind everything, behind mind and matter, there was one all-encompassing binding force; Quality (a kind of non-mathematical version of Einsein’s Unified Field Theory). So intense and so passionate was his pursuit that the fabric of his reality started coming apart, yet he was so focused trying to understand how it was woven together, and so fascinated in seeing the filaments come apart, that his reality just disintegrated before his eyes.

We have agreed that the fear felt by the narrator was understandable, but eventually we come to appreciate that Phaedrus’s return does not equate to insanity. Although it was his quest to pinpoint and understand Quality that was largely responsible for his decline, it was the steadfast notion that Quality was “the key” (as well as his love for his son) that finally resurrected him. Phaedrus returns but this time he is stronger and wiser.

As I said, although this scenario is drastic, Phaedrus comes to represent the mad seeker of truth, (whatever that may be) which we all, hopefully, possess. It is one of the highest of human traits. He stands for the passion and devotion to a cause that can move mountains, the type of dedication which is so unusual yet so admirable in people who possess it. This kind of path isn’t always the easiest, and most likely it is quite the opposite. It is fraught with conflict with those that will inevitably oppose the controversy, outlandishness and menace of new thinking. It is never easy for the bearer of such thoughts.

Phaedrus is passion, inspiration, instinct and vision. He is restlessness, curiosity and drive. He is sheer creativity.

The Phaedrus that I am describing is the one that lies within all of us...

When I was a child I promised myself I wouldn’t grow up. I saw all the grown ups, so serious and so tame, while I was investigating the hedges, making mud pies and exploring the secrets of the garden. I would be racing around with my long golden hair, caked in mud, with patches on my pants and bloody elbows, blissfully happy. I saw grown ups doing their grown up things but they sure weren’t enjoying themselves as much as I was. I promised that I would never change.

Well, everybody grows up, even me. Such is life. Growth, responsibility, context, and experience…I don’t really have to explain what turns a boy into a man. I’m not making a big statement about happiness here either, or about being youthful or having fun. I am just using myself as an example, saying that as a child my undeveloped little mind was banging on all cylinders. It was unbound by knowledge. Everything was new and exciting, I was infinitely curious and I wanted to touch everything I saw. I could feel with incredible intensity, that was the only way I knew how to, and I was aware enough to realise that I never wanted to lose that feeling. That in essence was what that promise was all about.

In growing up there is a division from that child, to quote Pirsig, “it’s like those photographs of a rocket just after launching where you see two stages start to separate from each other in space. You think you're together and then suddenly you see that you're not together anymore.” Only the timeframes are much longer than that. The first realisation probably comes when you look back, not just passively remembering being a child but actually focusing on putting yourself back in your little boots and seeing things the way you used to. I guess there is a strong link with the Time Machine syndrome (TMS) that I described. It was the day I really remembered that old promise that got my mind ticking on this subject…that’s my story anyhow.

I believe that the inner Phaedrus is that child all grown up, without having ‘grown up’ if you get my drift. The wild card within that is suppressed by the rational and the pragmatic, the left side of the brain dominated by the right. At times it is absolutely necessary, but that is not the problem. The problem is when he is blindly assassinated! Smothered by routine, by mental rigidity, by lack of perspective, by self-consciousness, by materialism.

When ‘the man’ gets you down, when you become square, when you don’t draw because you say you are not good at it. When you don’t express yourself. When you discover something and don’t care or don’t want to find out more, when you forget the last time you laughed so hard you drooled. When you are “sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing, spirit crushing game shows stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth”. When you are bored. The very breaking of that childhood promise to oneself, a promise so prematurely profound and real.

Every time this happens you are committing Phaedrucide.

So, now that we know what it means, why be named after such a sad reality?

The word Genocide (from Greek genos [‘race,’ ‘kind’] and -cide, from Latin -cidere, ‘to kill’) was only coined in 1944 because the concept was unknown, at least in that magnitude, until then. It is not until you can recognise, define and name an evil that you can start to condemn it, tackle it and abolish it.

That is the purpose of this word!

Phaedrucide is the name under which I carry out my creative projects. Following the old principle of “to kill the killer one must become the killer” I carry this name to attempt to understand my Phaedrucidal tendencies and eliminate them. “Keep your friends close and your enemies closer” they say…

This name is a mark and a warning. I guess it’s along the lines of the psychological principle of pasting pictures of a pig on your fridge to stop pigging out. It’s kind of masochistic but it works for some. In the same way my Phaedrucide work is the opposite of what it says on the label. You put a pig on your fridge because you don’t want to be one, because you see a horrid reflection. I don’t have a pig on my fridge because that isn’t my issue. Mine is trying to keep an old promise.

So this is for me, but it’s also for anyone who can relate. Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance did a lot for me, it inspired me, but it stopped being about the book and about Pirsig’s Phaedrus long ago, this is about mine. It is a constant reminder that life is for living and that it is a truly amazing thing. It is my expression, my creativity, my attempt to be in touch, to allow my Phaedrus to breathe. These are things that I am excited about.

Phaedrucide is my one word lifestyle manifesto.

MIND AGENT PROJECT

As the title well explains, this is an extract from the MIND AGENT PROJECT concept proposal. "MAP: A theoretical investigation into the design of a cognitive augmentation system" was my major project at university and wound up being one of three (out of 170) projects short listed for the ‘HSBC Innovation Award’ at the ‘MADE IN BRUNEL Innovation Show’. It may be hard to grasp some of the ideas without the backing research and further elaborations of the ideas presented but it's as much as I'm willing to post! See what you make of it!


3.1. Concept Proposal

“We must learn to balance the material wonders of technology with the spiritual demands of our human nature.”
(John Naisbitt)

The rise of the age of the computer has been swift and has brought about incommensurable changes to mankind. It is hard to sum up the role of computing in science, culture, society, politics, entertainment and so on because ultimately it has become integral parts of all these systems. What can be said, and to reiterate Rheinghold’s words, is that computer’s are “tools for thought”, they augment human activities by providing a medium to manage and make use of information. The variety of uses stem from the fact that computers are not enormous mainframes that carry out specific tasks anymore; computers are the “universal machines” that Turing described; consequently as hardware and programming evolves we will see computing take on new forms and functions defined by developers’ visions and concepts.

As we have seen, many of the ‘pioneers’ saw the potential of computing to augment human intellect. This effect can certainly be said to be true, particularly in extending human intellect. A student may use his computer as a workstation, a communication device, a research portal and an entertainment suite just to name a few examples, and many times they serve all these functions simultaneously. The skills involved in managing a computer with this layout involves a great deal of multi-tasking, problem solving, and information management skills. This is a scaled down scenario, as any savvy user knows, using a computer is a constant and non-linear process moving from one thought to the next, from task to task, working with an array of virtual-intellectual tools. The computer becomes an extension of the user’s intellectual will, a medium to carry it out, and a constant source of thought provoking situations.

The thought processes involved in using a computer are on the one hand those of the reason for using it, and on the other hand those regarding how to use the computer to attain the desired purpose. It seems that a better knowledge and control of a digital system enhances the user’s experience. As Rheingold describes;

“any later-day hacker will admit that the most fascinating thing in his own life is his own mind, and tell you that he regards intense, prolonged interaction with a computer program as a particularly satisfying kind of dialogue with his own thoughts.”

An ideal system would provide this type of intellectual satisfaction, not only with the support we are used to, but with an appreciable contribution to thinking processes. That is one of the reasons why HCI research attempts to bring computing closer to people (just as experts attempt to move closer to computers), because it is from that natural and unimpeded closeness that the true potential of human-computer interaction arises.



The concept behind the MIND AGENT PROJECT (forms M.A.P. acronym, as in ‘mapping’) is to create a system that provides this closeness in an environment dedicated to enhancing the users abilities to document his thoughts, to visualize them, to rearrange them, and to gain new meanings and insights them.

The purpose of this system is to carry out methodologies like those proposed by De Bono and Buzan, to think divergently and ‘out of the box’, and to explore new approaches to problem solving. MIND AGENT would serve as a tool to facilitate these processes by allowing users to map ideas into a rich visual interface. Voice commands could allow for rapid input of keywords (that could later be elaborated), and interfaces like a multi-touch screen would allow for rapid reconfiguration of interactive diagrams. Idea databases could quickly be assembled, with the ability to link words, themes and media, creating a system of “associative trails” that could be represented in a variety of different formats and visual structures.


Alan Kay described the idea of “agents [as] computer processes that act as guide, as coach, and as amanuensis”86. It is from this definition that MIND AGENT earns its name. The system would not provide augmentation, but would instead assist and aid the user in carrying out augmenting methodologies. The incorporation of eye and head tracking technology would therefore not only provide an effective form of navigating large visualisations in a smooth and unconfined manner, but would also provide feedback to the user on his performance. By monitoring eye movements the system could provide information regarding the user’s interests (areas of most prolonged fixations in the form of heat maps for example) as well as monitor his attention (exterior manifestations thereof, for example eyes wandering during reading).

Sound knowledge of metacognitive strategies would allow the user to use this feedback as instructive ‘coaching’. This would reinforce self initiated goals like speed reading by monitoring speed, regression, and wanderings, and providing metronome training and progressive speed increase programs.

It would be all too easy to assume that every user would want to take the initiative to improve his learning and cognition. These types of methodologies are not universally accepted because they take a great level of commitment and self-regulation to be set in motion in the fist place. A MIND AGENT could promote these ideas by providing a starters guide to using the system, introducing concepts of cognitive augmentation, brainstorming, mind mapping and metacognition. Clearly this tool system would be most suited to persons acquainted with, and open to, these ideas but would not be exclusive to them.

This system could be incorporated into a user’s work station (for example) and be used just like any other application. In fact it would be desirable if it ran contiguously to have constant access to ‘linkable’ information that would later be explored in dedicated ‘thinking sessions’, and monitoring for cognitive and metacognitive feedback.

The desired result of MIND AGENT would enhance productivity by supporting knowledge management and discovery, promote and enhance learning, and focus concentration and attention, analogous to the “improved productivity of a craftsman who has the right tools and an ample workbench”. If the system proved effective it could suggest a step towards type of Man-Computer Symbiosis that Licklider described, and a new page for the augmentation Engelbart sought.

Getting into Adland

The questions one has to answer in adland graduate scheme applications are varied, at times interesting, often challenging and in cases clearly designed to provide the recruitment team with a good deal of laughs (probably well deserved). I guess the art is synthesising all there is to answer into the strict word limits they prescribe.

Following is a pick-n-mix selection of some of these questions with my answers:

What do you think the future holds for the advertising industry? (max 100 words)


Emerging technologies and the systems that will run on them pose both a challenge and a fantastic opportunity for the ad industry. Mobile technologies will be key, and will offer exciting opportunities in terms of multimedia broadcasting, interactivity and targeting individuals. Traditional media will continue to be vital, but as ubiquitous computing goes mainstream it will be contextual advertising that will push sales and the accountability thereof.

New media, and the changing consumer behaviours that accompany this market evolution, propose a refreshing arena for creative advertising to grow and bear fruit from. Adaptability is the essence to success.


How would you promote mp3 players to the over 60s? (max 100 words)

From their inception, MP3 players came hand in hand with the idea of internet-savvy, music-loving youngsters. Now, they have become user-friendly “life style accessories” that cater to the needs of a wide demographic. The challenge with over 60’s is that all marketing has always targeted a radical youth that doesn’t necessarily relate to them.

A good approach would be to use respected and distinguished individuals to show the ‘flip side’ of these clever gadgets; Podcasts, Classical music in the park, audio language lessons and the beauty of not having to hear people’s mind numbing conversations in the bus. Promoting these older figures ‘taking the step’ (in life style and in daring to take on the new technologies), albeit in their own mature way, would shed a new light on a technology that can be shared with the radical youth it has until now been promoted to. TV, Radio and specialized magazines would do it.


What is the most creative thing you have seen in the last 12 months? (max 50 words)

On the subject of advertising, I will go for Matt Harding’s video compilation available on http://www.wherethehellismatt.com/. Stride gum, notable for it’s creative ads, sponsored this charming globe-trotter to do his jig in 39 countries in all seven continents. Epic and evocative, the viral has yielded over 4 million viewers.


If you could change the music on one TV ad that you’ve seen recently, what piece would you put on which ad, and why? (max 100 words)

I reckon the ad in most need of a music change is the second Sony Bravia ad, ‘Paint’, by Fallon. Following ‘Balls’, an impressive and acclaimed ad it had a lot to live up to and didn’t quite make the mark, in my opinion, primarily due to the choice of music. The idea of day-time fireworks was good, and the footage is also impressive, but it was the formula of harmonious music and imagery that made ‘Balls’ so special. I suggest Iron & Wine’s “Such Great Heights” and have edited the footage to illustrate this available at;

http://www.youtube.com/alancrossley


Who was the last person to teach you something about yourself and what was it?
(max 50 words)

To be perfectly honest the last person to teach me something about myself was Me. Today I learned that I have developed an extraordinary tolerance to scotch bonnet chili peppers. This can prove to be an interesting talent useful not only to indulge my palate but also to challenge any innocent contender.


What in your opinion has been the greatest invention of the past 50 years? (200 words)

Without any shadow of a doubt the single greatest invention has to be the manufacture of integrated circuits that brought about the advent of modern computing. That was the key piece that allowed for the progress of computing, according to Moore’s Law, to develop exponentially. The repercussions of this computing boom are vast and ubiquitous in everyday life and all walks of human endeavour. Integrated circuits are, in a sense, now accountable for the backbone of societies infrastructure; they are the brains of all technology. New developments are in the making, which propose exciting possibilities for the integration of technology into the very fabric of society. Communication, work, leisure, and accessibility of information are being redefined by smaller, faster and more embedded technologies. If we are indeed moving toward an era of technologically enhanced environments and ‘intelligent’ computing, this suggests a whole new paradigm for product, service and communication development. This new paradigm will be, and it is fair to say it is already becoming, the new battleground for Adland. The way advertising works will evolve to work with and within these new systems, and it will be my generation that will lead this transition.


Your life as a film. Pitch It. (200 words)

It starts with Alan’s (our hero) first day as an Advertising trainee. He sits and takes a deep breath to get himself in the right gear; this is the first day of the rest of his life. The story jumps back to tell the story of how he wound up there, a tale of bizarre occurrences, of fate and ultimately of the unexpected. It would start with his youth in Spain; a sunny blonde with shaky health product of a curious blend of nationalities (the confusion this entailed brought fourth situations like; four children share their nationalities, one says; “I’m Spanish”, the next; “I’m English”, next; “I’m French”, and little Alan says; “I’m Allergic”), the influence of his three eccentric older sisters and the unlikely yet wonderful and colourful couple that are his parents. The substance of the film would derive from Alan’s relationships with the key players in his life which, aided by incorporation of inner monologues, would allow the viewer to experience the unfolding of his life with the depth and passion that he lives with. The main lesson learnt on his fated path to become an Ad Man being:

Life is a pitch and then you die.

If you could invite 3 people for dinner (dead or alive) who would they be and why? (200 words)

Without labouring it too much and for the sakes of a genuine and spontaneous response I would invite three persons that would indulge my senses with, what would potentially be, the most inspiring conversations in my life. The subject matter, the substance of substance; Philosophy. Firstly, I would invite Robert M. Pirsig, author of Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance. He is an intriguing character with a fascinating life story and his books have been extremely influential in my life. He is profiled as a genius, but has stayed clear of the public eye so few interviews, and unsubstantial ones at that are available. Secondly I would extend my invitation to Socrates, since I would enjoy describing the world today to him and hearing his views, insights and reactions. I would also enjoy hearing his exchanges with Pirsig and our last guest. Lastly I would invite Leonardo Da Vinci because he is possibly the most interesting character that I know about and consider he would have brilliant contributions to the philosophical ponderings. Without need to further elaborate, a few translators and a camera crew would guarantee priceless footage that would guarantee my infinite wisdom and, of course, early retirement.

What is your favourite ad campaign ever and why? (200 words)

It is difficult to single out a favourite campaign in the same way picking a single song or film or book is difficult. Every campaign has a purpose, a context, a public and may be a favourite at one time but grow old very quickly. In considering my favourite I will take into account more factors than simple preference. I will look at the durability of the campaign, at the brand-building value and also at the permeation into popular culture. Using the criterion above Wieden + Kennedy’s “Just Do It” campaign for Nike would be my choice. These three words have lasted for nearly twenty years in Nike’s advertising, allowing for innumerable incarnations of this idea from different angles of attack, and have become inextricably linked to the brand’s philosophy and image. The catch line targets the people who use Nike’s products, using a simple yet powerful motivation declaration, as opposed to pushing the products themselves. It is a brilliant example of a “Big Idea”, one that transcends it’s campaign and adds value to the brand as a whole on a permanent basis. This campaign was basically responsible for the Nike “Boom”, and for immortalising Nike as a power brand.

If you were a sandwich filling, what would you be and why? (200 words)

If I were I sandwich filling I would be very unhappy because I wouldn’t get this job.

You’ve been invited in for an interview, but on the way to the Agency you get hopelessly lost. You have enough battery power on your mobile to leave us a 250 word voicemail. What do you say?

" Hi, look, this is Alan Crossley... I have been invited for an interview today...now actually, which I would have clearly made on time but I have managed to get lost. Really lost. I mean extremely lost. I can’t seem to find myself on the Google map. Is the Thames supposed to be this close to Russell Square? I didn’t know it was made of whipped cream now, is it edible? Oh God, I can’t see my hands. What? Did you say something? No, I haven’t been to the zoo in years. Oh great, now my shitting phone is dying! Sorry for that, oops, this is all going pair shaped. I knew something like this would happen. I slipped and fell at the exit line but I was first in the race. My grandmother kept telling me to get a hotel in the area; she said that I have the evil eye… hag. Taxi!...What the...Everybody is driving backwards! Why are you all looking at me? I am a natural born Ad Man! Why is this happening!? Why are you pointing a flashlight in my eyes???”


"Hello, This is Doctor Wells…is this a voice message?…oh ok…As I was saying, this man is delusional due to the bite of a Madagascar tree frog, he will be better as soon as he is injected with the appropriate serum...sorry about your friend, goodbye."

------


A bit over the top? No. I wouldn't be late.


What piece of advertising has made you think differently about a brand and why?
(100 words)

The Sony Bravia Commercials demonstrate that Sony is more than the technology it creates and offers more than new competitive colour LCD's. It is a powerful campaign offering powerful audio visuals, and in the case of the first ad, a clever endorsement of an artist (Jose Gonzalez) released under the Sony BMG music entertainment record label. Sony is a super brand and these ads by Fallon demonstrate this. They go beyond because they represent a giant, and they do so beautifully. In my view they have brought new life to the Sony brand.


You have reinvented yourself as a superhero. What’s your superhero name and your unique superpower?
(100 words)


My superhero's power would reside in the ability to communicate a message from his mind to the minds of the world's entire population by-passing language, semantics and critical consciousness by super-telepathic-transference. People would begin to love each other and the planet, abandon religion and embrace science and the ways of the future. Humanity would remain diverse but woven together by good faith, eagerness to progress as a collective and passion for all that is good and free and beautiful. This event would be completely subconscious. His name would be: Super Modest World Fixing Brainwashing-in-a-Good Way Man.

Supermarkets should not be allowed to advertise in order to create a more level playing field for local businesses.’

Argue for or against this statement.
(150 words)


It is a fair point to say that supermarkets can, through large advertising budgets and their resulting compelling campaigns, out compete local businesses. There are benefits offered by supermarkets however, that are exclusive to them and these should be advertised for the consumer's benefit. Specialist items, services, environmentally friendly schemes and healthy options are valid reasons to advertise as opposed to lower prices for the same products. In this vein, supermarket chains should be entitled to advertise but basing themselves on real benefits as opposed to regular item competition. This would maintain a level of corporate responsibility and ethic that would allow for fair competition, adequately tailored marketing and overall benefits for the customer base. Legislation against the building of too many supermarkets within given areas is already protecting the key location advantage that local businesses have to maintain their regular customers.

Get something off your chest. Have a whinge in 100 words.

This one is about the Oxbridge Conspiracy. It is fair to say that the old establishments and wider definition of Red Brick universities have the history and academic quality to prepare their students well. And indeed, once they are out of them, endow these Graduates with a stunning label and industry kudos. However it is the character of the types of people who knew what they wanted at seventeen and worked to get there that is really of value. Some people learn late and the hard way, in my opinion the best way. Give me a chance to prove it.

Sony Bravia: Paint - Remastered.

A study that highlights the pivotal role of music in the overall feel of an ad. Here is a proposed improvement that I feel is more in line with the first Bravia ad, both in visual harmony and acoustic melody. The production was definitely impressive and the footage was breathtaking but it lacked the consistency to be a rightful sequel to the Bravia campaign. Here, colour is presented as soothing and spectacular as opposed to philharmonic and abrupt. This is a rough cut to convey the proposed music (and tempo) change. I offer all my respects to the team that brought this spot to fruition.

Getting into Adland II: Cover Letter Punt

Applications continue. Here is a cover letter designed to stand out in a way that I hope none of the other thousand applicants have gone for. It's a punt.


Dear Cover Letter Reader,

I can’t imagine how many cover letters you have to work your way through, with hopeful candidates elucidating you on “what sort of a person” they are. I also can’t imagine how painful it must be to work through tediously clonal descriptions of that nature, or difficult it may be to pick the best candidates for the next round. Maybe it isn’t hard. Some may stand out with banners flip-flapping, with impressive academic records or brilliant and ground-breaking ways of selling themselves and their extraordinary aptitudes. Others may only suggest, with subtle symptoms, the potential that lies within. Then again, what would I know? You are the person in the position to pick and choose these people because you have undoubtedly earned it. I’m sure you have a compelling professional background if you are in charge of selecting the agency’s new blood, and by extension, I am pretty sure you have knack for picking the winners. It must take more than good judgement to make these decisions, sometimes even a fair dose of intuition. Maybe that is the beauty of your task and responsibility, to find the leaders of tomorrow, to discover the best amidst hoardes of talented hopefuls.
You may think I am cajoling to get myself an interview. Well, to be fair, to a certain extent I am. Introducing myself without addressing the reasons why I think I am made for working at censored agency name, by describing myself with supposed earnest modesty, would be contrived. As contrived as so many other cover letters you have read and will be reading. Everyone who is applying to this knows what is at stake, the odds are against us, we have all done the math.
So here is my pitch. I have plenty to say about myself but I won’t. I wouldn’t want to burden you with more unnecessary chatter. I can but suggest that in person I can tell you all about myself; Growing up in Spain in a multi cultural family, my passion for the arts, my penchant for travel and for the people I meet while doing so and my reasons for being in London. I can only imply that offering me the chance to introduce myself in person, to demonstrate the reasons why I know I am an Ad Man, would be a good choice.
I said I was cajoling, but only to a certain extent. The reason for this, is, that without being conceited, I reckon I can give you the guarantee that offering me an opportunity would be a hit. Not because I know everything I need to know, but because I have the gumption and the willingness to do what it takes to get where I want to get whilst, for the integrity of this guarantee, making my parents proud.

Thank you for reading this letter, addressed so personally to you, with the acumen I am appealing to.

Hoping to hear from you soon,

Alan J. Crossley

Ad Man in potential.

Some people know from a very early age what they want to be when they grow up. Some make it and some don't. Some people are never quite sure what they want to do with their lives, and untill they do they won't know if they have made it or not. To quote Baz Luhrmann in his brilliant speech-song "Everybody's free to wear sunscreen":

"Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life…the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don’t."

I have spent my life wondering what I was going to be "when I grow up". I have gone through so many phases, so many plans, chased so many mirages and aimed at so many targets that I have often wondered if I actually will grow up. But I have understood that this is not a fickle trait, it is one that reflects growth, eclecticism and broad-mindedness. I agree with good ol' Buz - keep yourself busy but don't chain your mind to what you do just because you do it, give yourself time to figure out what you want to do with your life without freaking out. Life is flux, but at the same time ones past can be cut up into pretty clear chunks. You can even look at another period in your life and feel strangely disasociated from it: different hair, weird clothes, long lost friends, expired dreams.

So why not take it by chunks?

I know what I want to be for this chunk of my life, starting now, ending whenever I decide to. I know because all the past chunks have made me what I am, equipped me with the contents of my head, moulded my likes, chiseled my talents and branded my aspirations. Yes, branded.

I am going to be an Ad Man.

Creative advertising is a controversial profession and admittedly one that clashes with many of my moral standpoints. But it fascinates me. Consumer culture, tribalism, brand warship, sociology, evolution, revolution, intelligent design, emotional economies, trends, the gags, the hooks, the creative engine, the glamour. It fascinates me and I totally get it, I have what it takes and I'm going for it.

Needless to say, getting in is the toughest bit in the game. You can have all the conviction in the world but when you apply, as I am doing, for the Graduate Schemes (in London this is) you are competing in some cases with over a thousand other Grads for three or four Jobs, get the picture?

When the going gets tough, the tough get going.

(TMS) Time Machine Syndrome

I have experienced TMS too many times in my life to be able to go on without coining it. I am sure everyone will know exactly what it is but have spent their lives wasting their breath on long winded descriptions of the sensation, the vertigo the bewilderment - so have I. Wasted breath no more, what did people say before the existence of emotionally consolidating words like 'Love', 'Nostalgia' or 'Deja Vu'?

So, as a tribute to the great H.G. Wells (why not?), I define the "Time Machine Syndrome" as the sensation that Alexander Hartdegen must have had as he travelled forward in time at a break-necking speed. Particularly the speed at which changes happened which he didn't witness, for example when he blinked or looked the other way only to look back and see the that a whole chunk of time, in his perception, seemed to have gone missing.

This goes for anyone's life without the need for a time machine. It is the sensation of looking upon an aspect, facet, or element of one's existence only to be blown away by the speed at which time has gone by. This may be seen by the unregistered changes that have taken place or by the sheer amount of time that has gone by unnoticed.

Changes in your loved ones, the amount of time since you have spoken to them, hobbies, physical places, meta-physical places, introspection, real laughter. TMS applies to everything that makes one stop and say "Hey, where did all this time go?" or "Who the Shit pressed Fast-Forward?”

Why a Syndrome? You ask. Why not just the "Time Machine Feeling" or "Chronodisplasia" (of sorts - great book by the way)? Because I believe this sensation is symptomatic of the times we are living in, where our lives are fast paced roller-coaster experiences choc-a-bloc with information and barely enough time to process it. This is all good, except for the fact that we may be so busy living that we miss the mile-stones and the scenery around us. It's all about the journey not the destination, right? In human lives as far as we know it (except if you are a spiritual-religious - although these two seem to have scarce connections - phantasmagorian) this is the case, so if we spend our time staring at the highway asphalt don't we miss all the fun?

Zen teaches, or Shows (an important semantic gap according to my Zen maven) the art of living "here and now" and really enjoying every moment before it's all gone. It's fair enough to say that it would have been easier to live that way chilling out up a mountain in China but is pretty tough in the heat of modern urban life. Zen however, could be used in everyday life by everyone if only it were more embedded in Western culture. Shame it isn't. The bottom line of Zen (or the modern non-monk-person Zen) is looking into the beauty of the seemingly mundane, and making the best out of life mentally, physically, and spiritually.

Just a quick quote (as far as I remember it) from "Two and a half men", Alan is whining about Jack's luck and ability to be happy and he says; "When he gets lemons he makes lemonade, when I get lemons I just suck them inside out". Sour.

Coming back to the point, this Syndrome is not a genetic pathology, but it is perhaps a symptom of a greater mental-physical and spiritual pandemic afflicting the peoples of this mad world. Then again, it may just be a consequence of not taking enough breaks from the fast lane to take a good picture or two.

What compelled me to coin TMS now? I think I'm generally OK in these respects, I firmly believe that acknowledging the problem makes great strides towards solving it, but life has many walks. The last post on this blog project (an initiative to voice and vent with the exclusive excuse of outright self indulgence) was a year and nine months ago. Ouch.

Really, it feels like...well, without much further a do; it feels like a bout of TMS.

A minor incident at work

I am watching the symptoms of a system meltdown. Not on a major scale, nothing anybody else seems to notice in this busy bees nest yet it’s subtly perceptible and somehow significant. I am sitting at my desk at work, as one does, and around me I am witnessing the roots of disorder. I am reading it in peoples faces, their movements and their glazed eyes.

Maybe this requires some contextualisation. I work in a Design studio, outside London in an industrial shithole otherwise known as Slough. I can’t complain, being my first job (as a student work placement) It’s down right fantastic. We get to enjoy the foxy-modern-hip policies of a design studio like free coffee and being able to listen to music off our sexy G5 computers. No complaints about it, the early mornings are a lesson in discipline, the paycheck is an excuse for monthly binges and the work is easy going.

Oh the work. It’s not exciting, I doubt anybody thought it would be. We sit at our desks with our fancy equipment and design ads for print, churning them out while listening to music and sipping mediocre coffee. There you go, it pays the bills and provides a workingman structure to my lifestyle which I can use as an excuse to go overboard in my free time, it all works out. Next year I will be a student again for my final year (gulp) and after that it’s the Real Rat Race so I guess right now I’m in a kind of social no-mans-land. Groovy.

So, I rise in the dark and flock to work with the rest of the herd of commuters, seeing familiar yet glum faces in the train morning after morning. I enter the gates of the corporate dimension and grab a coffee, make my way to my desk, settle in, Log-in and space out. That brings me here, to my work station; the place where I exercise my official purpose, my job, the source of my income, my title. I guess I’m being so flippant because I can afford to be. I’m aware that this year is just a transitory step and so I don’t have the devotion towards my job that people have when they meet someone and say “Hi, I am a Person, I do So-and-So for a living so that is what I represent”. I work here, but this is not what I Do.

My work habits are strange but they suit this job perfectly. I have always been an underachiever, frustrating teachers throughout my life with my wasted potential. It wasn’t really wasted, it was simply subject to my whims – my potential poured into my interests and being the lively young puppy I was they changed constantly. It was consistency which I lacked and still do. I find consistency boring.
I work in bursts of massive productivity followed by long breaks which I spend surfing the mighty and all encompassing internet, designing, writing and pondering. I’m surrounded by people that pace themselves and work constantly, they don’t understand why I work the way I do and manage to get things done – I don’t understand how why they decide to be bored. I guess they’re not bored though, I just get bored to think of their approach. I’m not talking about everybody around me, I am talking about the people that have brought me to write this.

Today the networking system that is the backbone to our work process has crashed and will remain down indefinitely. It has been this way for the past three hours but they hope to get it fixed soon so we are meant to stay and, well, pass our time. This is when I began perceiving the symptoms. At first everybody seemed relieved and joked about the situation. Since i’m in my musical isolation (studio verborrhea is generally intolerable) I witness everything as a choreographed pantomime. The expressions move from jolly-jokey, to sheepish to shifty to uncomfortable. People are getting impatient about this situation, they are getting bored because they can’t work; they “can’t get no satisfaction” because they can’t do what they are meant to be doing.

The question whether man is innately lazy or ambitious is a long lasting dilemma. Many social disorders can be attributed to this paradox; some people are stressed by work they don’t want or don’t like and other people are frustrated and getting depressed because they can’t find a job. I think that basically it has to do with non-conformity. Yet at the same time that is another paradox; non-conformity can be tremendously constructive as a self preservation device for people to break from the beaten track and explore, innovate, rebel! Then again I was referring to the non-conformity with serves as a constant warping of goals so that they can never be achieved. Maybe they weren’t genuine, sincere goals in the first place (that’s a whole other story). I reckon this all has something to do with the overwhelming majority of glum faces I see in the morning. I doubt mine looks much better.

Time old dilemmas to one side, all I can say is that before me I see people gagging to work, they seem like they are about to choke in the awkwardness of this situation. Should I stand up on my chair and explain, screaming, that it’s just temporary, that soon things will be back to normal?

“We design for a corporation that has just announced a turnover up by 6.7 % to £897.9 million in the last quarter! You are not changing the world, you are a hair on the mammoth of irrelevance, your work here belongs to a world far from the reality that matters to your human side, yes that little quivering being that’s lurks within you. Our role here serves the machine that is awesome and all encompassing in our era, but it’s this same machine which makes you feel so lonely and so sick, because you are so devoted to it that you trust enough to have forgotten about the massive ocean that lies beneath the surface you are doggy paddling on. Stop and see where you stand because you are both the exhausted beast and the abusive rider, look ahead so your aspirations aren’t lost in the dust of this lunar landscape, so that you have bearings are based on the permanence of the stars, of Quality and of awareness. What is more cliché, to warn against the evil that lies in the slippery path of society or to truly become the ‘architects of our own demise’ regardless of all the harbingers? Yes! Work with gumption but remember what you are working for, remember what it means. And when a network breaks down in your design studio, with no detrimental effects on your income or job (in fact it donates free time to your busy day) question why you start manifesting symptoms of panic. Question the root of that feeling! Question why you have driven me to stand on this chair and scream this, do you understand what I’m trying to do?”

The meaning doesn’t really gel, I think it’s too hard to make my message cogent, besides that was an emulated rant in my head - maybe it would have clicked If I had gone for it. I guess I’m not ready to make myself look like a lunatic, and get my ass fired, for these victims of my judgment who probably see me as another form of wasted space.

Oh, there it goes; the system is back-up and running. Back to work.

Phaedrus made his ways through the cracks of my fortified chamber.

And it all begins without much more to add, sometimes begginnings are 'just like that'.