Getting into Adland II: Cover Letter Punt

Applications continue. Here is a cover letter designed to stand out in a way that I hope none of the other thousand applicants have gone for. It's a punt.


Dear Cover Letter Reader,

I can’t imagine how many cover letters you have to work your way through, with hopeful candidates elucidating you on “what sort of a person” they are. I also can’t imagine how painful it must be to work through tediously clonal descriptions of that nature, or difficult it may be to pick the best candidates for the next round. Maybe it isn’t hard. Some may stand out with banners flip-flapping, with impressive academic records or brilliant and ground-breaking ways of selling themselves and their extraordinary aptitudes. Others may only suggest, with subtle symptoms, the potential that lies within. Then again, what would I know? You are the person in the position to pick and choose these people because you have undoubtedly earned it. I’m sure you have a compelling professional background if you are in charge of selecting the agency’s new blood, and by extension, I am pretty sure you have knack for picking the winners. It must take more than good judgement to make these decisions, sometimes even a fair dose of intuition. Maybe that is the beauty of your task and responsibility, to find the leaders of tomorrow, to discover the best amidst hoardes of talented hopefuls.
You may think I am cajoling to get myself an interview. Well, to be fair, to a certain extent I am. Introducing myself without addressing the reasons why I think I am made for working at censored agency name, by describing myself with supposed earnest modesty, would be contrived. As contrived as so many other cover letters you have read and will be reading. Everyone who is applying to this knows what is at stake, the odds are against us, we have all done the math.
So here is my pitch. I have plenty to say about myself but I won’t. I wouldn’t want to burden you with more unnecessary chatter. I can but suggest that in person I can tell you all about myself; Growing up in Spain in a multi cultural family, my passion for the arts, my penchant for travel and for the people I meet while doing so and my reasons for being in London. I can only imply that offering me the chance to introduce myself in person, to demonstrate the reasons why I know I am an Ad Man, would be a good choice.
I said I was cajoling, but only to a certain extent. The reason for this, is, that without being conceited, I reckon I can give you the guarantee that offering me an opportunity would be a hit. Not because I know everything I need to know, but because I have the gumption and the willingness to do what it takes to get where I want to get whilst, for the integrity of this guarantee, making my parents proud.

Thank you for reading this letter, addressed so personally to you, with the acumen I am appealing to.

Hoping to hear from you soon,

Alan J. Crossley